Solo travel blues: Dealing with anxiety, burnout and loneliness on the road

I was in the airport, anxiously awaiting my flight to Georgia back in September 2021. Happy and excited on the outside, but anxious and nervous within. Was I making a mistake here? What happened to the girl that backpacked through Asia on her own, crossed the border to Afghanistan on a whim and camped solo in the Norwegian winter? Where was the girl that fearlessly set out on a two-month solo journey at just 19 years of age? What was all of this sudden anxiety I was feeling? And why now, at 26 years of age with seven years of solo travel experience behind me?

Sitting at the gate, about to board the first of three flights, I felt the tears coming. There are so many places in the world that I still dream of exploring, but the thought of actually travelling there – especially alone – sometimes feels downright gruelling to me. The prospect of visiting Georgia, arguably one of the most beautiful (and safe!) countries in the world, didn’t excite me enough to rid me of my anxiety. All I could think about was whether I’d be overwhelmed, lonely and homesick.

I’ve thought about this reaction a lot since. What was the reason for these sudden insecurities? Sure, I was out of training as a backpacker following the many months of Covid-19 lockdown. But my wanderlust was (and still is!) intact, I’m just not a fearless 19-year-old anymore. Long-term travel is a huge privilege that only few people are lucky enough to experience in their lifetime, and I’ve always felt very blessed to have this opportunity. So when feelings of regret has hit me on past travels, I’ve always felt ashamed and like a failure.

In the end, despite my fears and initial regret, I did board that flight to Georgia and I ended up having a wonderful trip that changed my life in more ways than I ever could’ve imagined. I met my first love two days into the trip. I am glad that I didn’t let my fears get the better of me, and even now, I try to remind myself that the rewards of travelling are much greater than any challenge faced. Georgia showed me that there’s still so much beauty and meaning to be found in travel, and that I shouldn’t succumb to my fears. But I’ve also learned through encounters with other solo travellers that these feelings are normal, and I’m no longer ashamed of how I feel.

Below are some thoughts and tips that I’ve accumulated over the past eight years of my solo travel journey. I’ve thought about sharing this post for years, but it has taken a lot for me to overcome my own expectations of myself and let my vulnerabilities be known. I hope this post can be of some kind of help or comfort to those that might be experiencing these same feelings while travelling alone.

It’s okay to fear the unknown

Some travellers are fearless (or seem fearless), but I would bet my precious camera that most solo travellers experience anxiety when they head to a new destination.

It’s not irrational to fear the unknown. Media feeds us with terrible stories from all over the world, and I will be the first to admit that I was scared when visiting countries like Afghanistan (before the Taliban takeover), Iran and even the US, but I’ve rarely experienced anything other than kind humans that are willing to help one another. I’ve never had to fear for my life. Most people in this world are good, despite what the media might lead you to believe.

I don’t have any tips on overcoming travel anxiety, except I would encourage you to just embrace it. Don’t let it stop you from doing what you want in life. If you’re anything like me, the fear of regret is much bigger than the fear of the unknown. If you’re dreaming of exploring the world, don’t let your anxiety stop you. Instead, use it to stay alert and help keep yourself safe.

Looking for tips on how to stay safe while travelling solo? Take a look at my post on that subject here!

Homesickness is normal and nothing to be ashamed of

Homesickness is a common occurrence for travellers, and maybe especially among solo travellers. While solo travel is usually lots of fun and pushes you to interact with many different people, it does at times get lonely. I’ve experienced it myself, too. I remember it most clearly on Bali in 2016, just a few weeks in on my 3,5-month journey through Asia. I’d just said goodbye to a good friend that I’d travelled with for a few days, and I just wasn’t enjoying Bali at all. I couldn’t take the thought of travelling alone for so many more weeks. I missed my family and friends back home, and all I wanted to do was to go home. It took a few days to get over, but the feeling did eventually pass and I had an amazing time for the rest of my journey. I’m glad I didn’t let my homesickness get the better of me.

So what can you do if you’re feeling homesick on the road?

Talk to your family and/or friends back home

The one thing that really got me through the homesickness on Bali was skyping with my family. I let my tears flow, told them how I was feeling, and in return received lots of love. Staying connected is the beauty of the 21st century. Don’t be afraid to reach out to your family or friends back home if you’re feeling low. It’s good to get an update on everything at home and it also helps to remind you that there are people in this world that truly care about you.

Spend a day doing something familiar and comforting

Watch your favourite film or tv show, read your favourite book, play your favourite video game or look at old photos of your family and friends. Maybe you can even find food that reminds you of home? Doing something that feels familiar and reminds you of home can be very comforting, and a relaxing day might be just what you need to feel excited about travelling again.

Surround yourself with good people

Book yourself into a dorm room and force yourself to talk to people. Hostels are naturally more social than hotels and resorts, and they often have large communal rooms. Getting to know new people is always a great way to forget about homesickness – and maybe you’ll even find a new travel buddy! It can take a lot of courage to start conversations with foreigners, but it often leads to fun shared experiences, nights out or even longer trips together. If you’re not comfortable igniting conversations, go to the common room and someone is bound to come up to you. Hostels are not a great place for remote work for this reason, but it’s a great help for introverts!

Go hiking alone – the best therapy

Quite contrary to the advice above, but ever so beneficial. Whenever I’m feeling down, I try to go for a long walk or hike in nature by myself. It has a soothing effect like nothing else, and gives me time and peace to reflect upon why I’m feeling the way I am, what I miss about home, and also what I enjoy about travelling. At the same time, I’m doing something active and seeing something new while still taking care of my mental health.

Change your travel style

If solo travel is making you feel lonely or homesick, why not change it up a little? Ask around at the hostel for a travel buddy or join a tour. Even if tours are not your thing, they can be a wonderful way to meet new people. Hostels often run fun tours or other events such as cooking classes and pub crawls! If you can afford it, you might even want to consider month-long tours where you’ll surely get to know the other travellers well!

Relocate

If nothing seems to be helping you overcome your homesickness, maybe it’s time to relocate. It could be that your destination is just not right for you. You might ultimately decide it’s time to go home, but before you do that, I urge you to try going somewhere new and exciting. It might just spark your passion for adventure again!

It worked for me when I was feeling homesick on Bali. I left the island two days earlier than planned and instead travelled to Malaysian Borneo to climb Mount Kinabalu. It turned out to be a great decision that reminded me why I fell in love with travelling in the first place!

It’s okay to slow down or go home

Travel burnout is a real issue that many long-term travellers experience. But it is okay to slow down or even go home if it all gets too much. You don’t have to see every sight the city has to offer, or visit every cultural hotspot on your route! I wish I’d told myself this many times. I’ve always struggled to not view quitting as a personal failure. But I’ve learned that many long-term solo travellers experience burnout eventually, simply because we become over-stimulated! Constantly meeting new people and interacting with new cultures and environments can become exhausting. As can always depending on yourself.

I experienced my first burnout during a month-long solo backpacking trip around Southern Europe. I’d had a busy year with lots of travels and hardly any time at home to recover before going on this trip. To top it off, I’d planned a way too tight itinerary with too little time in too many destinations. And the summer heat that year was intense. Halfway through, I did decide to scrap one country but I still ended up whizzing through eight countries, and although I saw and experienced a lot, I wasn’t really enjoying it. In fact, I was longing for the trip to come to an end so I could just go home, but I didn’t want to feel like a failure. I was afraid of what people might think of me. I was afraid of missing out on the places I’d planned to see. I continued my journey, burning myself out even more.

If you ever feel too overwhelmed by travelling, don’t do like me. Don’t feel ashamed to take some days off to linger at your hostel, eat your favourite foods and watch your favourite tv show. You might feel that you’re missing out on some valuable travel days by doing so, but it’s important to look after your mental health. If some days off doesn’t help, consider calling it quits and go home. You can always go back to travelling at a later date. And remember that travelling is not a race – nobody can see it all, and nobody is expecting you to do so.

Constant farewells is the hardest part of solo travel

Solo travel does not mean that you’re always alone. In fact, the only times I’ve been alone while on a solo trip is when I’ve actively sought it out by going roadtripping alone or hiking in remote areas.

As I mentioned above, meeting and connecting with new people is the best way of staying sane while travelling alone. Unfortunately, this comes with the downside of having to say goodbye to those people as well, and to me, that’s the worst part of solo travel. At least if you’re travelling with someone, you won’t be alone when you miss the people you met on the road.

It’s these constant farewells that most often make me feel lonely while travelling alone, and also the reason why I don’t do it as much anymore. I’ve grown tired of not having a community, and the thought of building up a relationship with someone for it to disappear again within days or weeks doesn’t seem as appealing anymore. Still, I’ll always be thankful for my years of solo travel as it led me to some amazing humans that I still miss and cherish dearly.

So how do I deal with the pain of saying goodbye?

I cry, a lot. It always helps me to just let it all out. And when I feel sad about missing certain people, I look through my hundreds of photos from my times with them. Even if I won’t see them again in real life, the memories are kept safe forever.

I think it’s important to let yourself grieve and to acknowledge these feelings. But also know that it will pass. You’ll meet more people that will touch your life, and the circle will go on. In the end, you might realize that you’ve had enough of it and you might want to change your travel style or lifestyle as a whole, and that’s okay too. Long-term solo travel is a wonderful and privileged lifestyle, but it’s also a lonely lifestyle and one most can’t keep up forever.

Changing my travel style to meet my needs

After all these years of solo travel, I’ve learned a few valuable life lessons. I know now that the world is made up of beautiful and kind humans. I know that travelling makes people more open-minded and understanding. And I know that having a community of good people around me is extremely important, especially as I grow older.

I never stopped travelling, and I don’t know if I ever will, but my travel style has changed significantly over the years. I used to dream of visiting every country in the world, seeing as much as possible in the shortest time and ticking off lots of bucket list items. My trips were INTENSE.

But now I’ve downscaled my dreams. I travel much slower and enjoy revisiting countries that I love. I now dream of visiting every island in Scotland, climbing all mountains on the Faroe Islands and creating memories with those that I love. I still enjoy the occasional solo trip, but it’s definitely not my main lifestyle anymore. I’m enjoying being settled in Scotland, building a community and exploring the country slowly. I now no longer feel like I have to visit new countries to satisfy my curiosity.

I would still love to visit every country, but it’s no longer something I actively strive for. If it happens, it’ll be great, but if it doesn’t, I’m sure it’ll be just as great. As long as I’m happy in the process, I’ll see where it takes me.